


I Couldn't Save You

by AnotherGallavichLove



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Angst, M/M, post 5x12
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-08
Updated: 2015-08-08
Packaged: 2018-04-13 16:56:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4529826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnotherGallavichLove/pseuds/AnotherGallavichLove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mickey stumbles upon a song that makes him mourn and think over his relationship with Ian even more than he already did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Couldn't Save You

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not usually the person who goes "Listen to this song it suits this fic so well" but since this entire fic is based off of I Couldn't Save You by Kate Voegele, maybe it would be a good idea to look it up :)

It had taken nearly an hour to get Sammi off of his track but eventually he’d gotten away with not more than a graze on his leg.

 

As he sat on his bed, tending to the injury, he saw saw Mandy’s old iPod on his bedside table, the one she had stolen almost two years before she ran off.

 

Why it was in his and Ian's - why it was in _his_ room, he didn’t know.

 

Someone had probably found it and assumed it was something he’d snatched.

 

Alas, he was alone so he pressed play and kept cleaning the blood off of his leg.

 

He could listen for about twelve seconds before he noticed every single string of lyrics reminded him of Ian.

 

_Caring ain’t enough, no matter what you do. It’s tearing my heart out._

 

Mickey let the alcohol and towel drop to the floor as he ran a hand over his mouth and forced himself to keep the tears in, failing, of course.

 

_’Cause I couldn’t save you, and I didn’t want to._

 

Mickey barely listened to music unless it was killer mike or fucking Metallica, but here he was, crying like a fucking bitch because some song lyrics reminded him of his boy - no, _ex_ boyfriend.

 

_You’ve got your mind set, so don’t compromise it._

 

No matter how much he reminded himself how pathetic this was, he couldn’t stop.

 

It was as if every single word was written about Ian and it was terrible, something he had never experienced before.

 

_I’ll wait for the one who won’t make me sigh and say, I couldn’t save you._

 

Those words made him go from crying to bawling in a couple of seconds.

 

Full on tears streaming down his cheeks, bitchy crying.

 

The words just reminded him of all the things he had to go through in the past few months.

 

He loved Ian so fucking much, but it would never matter what he did.

 

Ian was sick and even though Mickey had done everything in his power, at least everything he had been able to think of, he couldn’t save him.

 

And it sucked.

 

And now Mandy’s fucking music had to go remind him what a piece of shit he was.

 

He didn’t turn it off, though.

 

For some reason he wanted to keep hearing this.

 

_Well, you’re a piece of the past and I can’t keep elaborating on us._

 

Fuck.

 

_And I would kill to forget what it is about you that I need so much._

 

It was like a fucking movie, every single memory of Ian and him, happy, sad, and as much as he had tried to deny it for a long time - in love.

 

Every single word was like a stab to the heart and yet, he wanted to hear more.

 

He wanted to be reminded and he wanted to cry and he wanted to hurt.

 

_There’s so many things I should have said to you._

 

The memories of his and Svetlana’s wedding flashed before his eyes, well, more precisely, the minutes before the wedding.

 

Ian’s puppy eyes and everything that Mickey wished he would have said, everything he had wanted to say.

 

Fuck, if he could go back, he would just run off and bring Ian with him.

 

But it was too late now.

 

Way too late.

 

_Somebody as stubborn as yourself won’t change._

 

Those words cut deeper than any of the other ones.

 

Mickey had been way too stubborn from the beginning.

 

He should have just admitted his feelings even if it wasn’t easy, but he hadn’t.

 

Fuck, he was still stubborn.

 

First he was stubborn, telling himself and Ian that he didn’t like him, and now he had been way too stubborn, trying to get Ian to feel better.

 

It seemed like no matter what he did it was wrong.

 

Mickey should probably turn this fucking song off, dry his tears and go on like nothing.

 

He didn’t though.

 

He kept listening, taking in each and every single word.

 

_And, well, I couldn’t save you. No, I didn’t want to._

 

Mickey laid down on the bed, the tears slowly drying up, but his heart didn’t hurt any less.

 

It still felt like it had been ripped out of his chest.

 

Soon, he was asleep.

 

_I’ll wait for the one who won’t make me sigh and say, I couldn’t save you._

 

_I couldn’t save you._

 

_I couldn’t save you._

**Author's Note:**

> Late night angst writing? YAS. Why? I don't know.


End file.
